In many of the public toilets (‘loos’) in Luton’s inns you will find a blackboard affixed to the wall along with convenient chalks of many colours. You can discover which ward of the town you are in merely by the graffiti on these boards, I am told.
So you will find that the loos adjacent to the celebrated university are typically adorned with clever Latin epigrams. For example:
‘If cogitum ergo sum,
This really is quite rum.
For (sweet reader) I have never thought of you.’
Note: cogitum ergo sum is a witty critique, of course, of Descartes' dictum cogito ergo sum. It means: ‘I am thought therefore I am’. It’s why so many people post blogs.
Further afield, the poetry lapses into the vulgate. Thus:
‘There was a young lady of Luton
Who could no longer get her best suit on.
She said "diets are grim, but I have to grow slim.
I shall dine on a defrosted crouton".’
In the unregulated Liberties of Luton’s south bank, the verse degrades entirely. Viz:
‘Do not read this!
Or your shoes you won’t miss
While you’re taking a piss.
Pish! Told you so.’
Of course, I have no knowledge of the graffiti that might be found in the gentlemen’s loos. I report only that which I have personally found in the ladies’.
So you will find that the loos adjacent to the celebrated university are typically adorned with clever Latin epigrams. For example:
‘If cogitum ergo sum,
This really is quite rum.
For (sweet reader) I have never thought of you.’
Note: cogitum ergo sum is a witty critique, of course, of Descartes' dictum cogito ergo sum. It means: ‘I am thought therefore I am’. It’s why so many people post blogs.
Further afield, the poetry lapses into the vulgate. Thus:
‘There was a young lady of Luton
Who could no longer get her best suit on.
She said "diets are grim, but I have to grow slim.
I shall dine on a defrosted crouton".’
In the unregulated Liberties of Luton’s south bank, the verse degrades entirely. Viz:
‘Do not read this!
Or your shoes you won’t miss
While you’re taking a piss.
Pish! Told you so.’
Of course, I have no knowledge of the graffiti that might be found in the gentlemen’s loos. I report only that which I have personally found in the ladies’.
