Your holiday experience of a lifetime starts here

If you’re looking for the perfect year-round climate, funky beaches, exotic nightlife, quaint local people, dog-friendly bordellos, piquant food, a low mosquito count, and every allurement of ‘a holiday to remember’, look no further than Luton!

Ideally situated in the very heart of England, and conveniently accessible by all major air, balloon, rail, barge and cabriolet services, Luton is deservedly the nation’s most popular budget vacation destination.

In this modest site, I have tried to convey - with the most painful honesty - my own passion for this little town whose ethnic lanes and leafy underpasses I have so often explored myself by horse and motor scooter, riding side saddle.

Please do take a moment from your busy day to sample at least one of my Luton Delights in the column at your left. And don't forget to reserve your copy of my book.

Welcome to Secret Luton!

Mrs Celia Fiennes
Diarist & widow

Sunday 16 August 2009

Luton Catacombs


Your visit to historic Luton will not be complete unless you set aside at least a day to explore the fabulous catacombs.

A ‘town within a town’, this subterranean labyrinth beneath High Town of rocky tunnels and chambers, some as capacious as cathedrals, spans a total of 32.7 acres - roughly the size of 30 standard soccer pitches.The limestone caves were initially ground out in the Jurassic era by water finding its way into the river Lea below. At this time, the entire Lea Valley was a shallow lake, much inhabited by dinosaurs. Fossilised dinosaur dung or coprolites have long been dug out of local fields and ground up as fertiliser.

Erasmus possibly visited the catacombs in 1498 en route to Oxford. Certainly, he refers to Luton and its ‘gleeking empirics’ in In Praise of Folly (published 1549). The antiquarian John Aubrey picnicked in the Prince’s Chamber in 1666, following his excavations at Stonehenge. The initials he scratched on a stalagmite can still be seen.

Samuel Johnson dropped into the caves on 4th June 1781 after a visit to Luton Hoo’s Walled Garden. He did not venture far into the great torchlit galleries, having poor eyesight, but he complimented them, saying they might house a library ‘better than a king’s’. Dan Brown, of course, drew heavily on Luton’s catacombs as his inspiration for the Da Vinci Code.

However, the catacomb’s fame as a site of international archeological interest began as late as 1914 when local villagers, seeking refuge from Zeppelins, broke through a man-made wall in the little-explored Queen’s Chamber on the lowest level. Behind it was an entire medieval village dating from the 13th century!

They found streets, shops, hostelries, barns, stables, ossuaries, and even ordinaries (restaurants) with wooden trencher boards still bearing fragments of half-eaten food. All had been marvellously preserved in the ultra-dry air.

What drove these people to build a secret village underground with such labour? And what became of them?

Speculations abound. They might have been pagan worshippers of Diana, persecuted by the Catholic church. (Many bones of horses, an animal sacred to Diana, have been found beneath the little street-side temples. By their odd carvings, the temples are emphatically not Christian.) Perhaps they were followers of Hippolytus, a breakaway 3rd century bishop? The shrine of St Ippolyts is just a few miles up the road.

Some think the Knights Templar found sanctuary there in 1312, and that the Holy Grail - which the Knights guarded - is still buried beneath Luton. However, although a treasure trove of artifacts has been unearthed from the ‘secret’ village - and can be inspected at Wardown Park Museum - nothing that resembles the legendary golden goblet has been found.

Perhaps the Grail was just a ceramic pot? If so, you can let your imagination run wild upon the many pots from the catacombs currently displayed on shelf A12 at Wardown Park!

Thanks to the enterprise of the City Fathers, the caves have now been illuminated, made safe for visitors, and equipped with electric carts for the disabled. Tickets are two dandiprats for adults, or one dandiprat for children and the impotent poor. The main entrance is in the garden of the Somerset Tavern in Crawley Green Road.