Your holiday experience of a lifetime starts here

If you’re looking for the perfect year-round climate, funky beaches, exotic nightlife, quaint local people, dog-friendly bordellos, piquant food, a low mosquito count, and every allurement of ‘a holiday to remember’, look no further than Luton!

Ideally situated in the very heart of England, and conveniently accessible by all major air, balloon, rail, barge and cabriolet services, Luton is deservedly the nation’s most popular budget vacation destination.

In this modest site, I have tried to convey - with the most painful honesty - my own passion for this little town whose ethnic lanes and leafy underpasses I have so often explored myself by horse and motor scooter, riding side saddle.

Please do take a moment from your busy day to sample at least one of my Luton Delights in the column at your left. And don't forget to reserve your copy of my book.

Welcome to Secret Luton!

Mrs Celia Fiennes
Diarist & widow

Friday 17 August 2001

Reserve your personal signed copy of 'Secret Luton' now!

I do hope you have enjoyed the little samples here from my book Secret Luton. They comprise only a smidgen of its entire contents. The full book will very shortly be available from my admirable publisher Village Guild Publications. Its recommended price will then be £11.95.

Would you like to save £2?

Simply e-mail me a nice message (please do remember that I have a dicky heart). And tell me you'd like to buy my book. And I will not take your money yet!

Instead, I'll put your name on my special Early Bird list. When my book is out - and if you're one of the first 100 people to buy it - you may have it for just £9.95. What's more, I'll personally sign your book!

Just e-mail me And say 'Yes, Celia, put me on your Early Bird list' (or something equally tasteful). I will then e-mail you personally, with helpful ordering instructions, the very moment that my book is available.

Monday 13 August 2001

All about me


This is the personal diary of myself Celia Fiennes, 58 years young at time of writing and I don’t care who knows it. Following the tragic disappearance of my husband and his secretary in Chihuahaha, Mexico, I have refused to withdraw myself from company for the customary six months of mourning.

Instead, I have penned a modest account of my home town, Luton. I have diligently traversed its every nook and alley, riding sidesaddle on the back of my trusty ‘toke’, my 1970s Honda motor scooter.

This is not easy in widow’s weeds, but I know my late husband would have approved.

My nephew has cleverly adapted my Honda carburettor to run on old cooking oil recycled from fish & chip shops. Many a time have my friends giggled that, when I take off my veil, I smell like a scampi platter! But I think we cannot do enough to save the planet.

My account is sincere and truthful, although sadly limited by my ill-health and penury. In the regrettable absence of my husband’s body, his insurance company refuses to pay out. (Rest assured. I have taken it to the Court of Human Justice in the Hague.)

Meanwhile, I urgently need funds to continue my travels. Watch out, Norwich Union. I shall meet you yet. At the Hague!

Please note, charitable donations are tax deductible and it will cost you nothing to remember me in your will. Meanwhile, any small contribution you can afford now will be greatly valued. The simplest thing you can do is to kindly order a copy of my book Secret Luton, out very shortly. Thank you!

You will discover how to do this by clicking here.